An Assertive Approach to being Unassertive
Dear Kate & Dale:
I've had 10 years of management experience in
customer service, with excellent performance reviews. However, my company
downsized and I'm looking for a job. My problem is that my style is low-key.
Interviewers think this means that I cannot influence others. How can I get
employers to understand that I've been effective even though my style is
somewhat understated?
-- Joel |
Kate: There is a tendency in our
culture to regard assertive personalities as forceful and dynamic, while
regarding quieter people as less likely to inspire others.
Dale: If you picture businesspeople
such as Bill Gates, Dave Thomas and Warren Buffet, you might conclude that the
meek shall inherit the customers. Then again, if you picture Donald Trump or
Anita Roddick, you'd draw the opposite conclusion. The truth is this:
Effectiveness is not a result of style.
Kate: No, it's primarily a matter of
substance -- knowledge, character and persistence. But it's hard to convey the
latter two in a low-key interview. That's why I'd urge Joel to sit forward
during interviews, use more hand gestures and active, dynamic vocabulary.
Dale: Perhaps. But let me tell you a
story about my own career. I was interviewing for my first big-time corporate
job. Before getting to the decision-maker, I was screened by a guy in H.R. who
offered me this advice: "Dale, I think you've got the credentials, but the
person who heads the department is after a real go-getter and I'm not sure
that's how you come across." So, for the interview with my prospective boss, I
was Mr. Pep, a regular game-show host. After a rocky half-hour, he walked me to
the elevator, where I turned to him and said, "I only wish the interview had
gone better." He looked startled, then for the first time took an interest in
me as a human being. When I explained that I'd been trying to be someone I
wasn't, he laughed and said, "Let's start over." And then we went back to his
office and connected, a couple of low-key guys. I owe my first big break in
corporate life to that soft-spoken man.
Kate: There's an important lesson in
your story: Don't fake it. If you do, even if you land the job, you'll end up
miserable. But, on the other hand, you can't hide your talents and expect an
employer to dig them out. It's an interview, not an archeological project. In
this case, there's a simple solution: take on the issue directly. Tell
employers, "I may seem low-key, but I am relentless in meeting goals." Or, "I
find that employees respond better to calm guidance than to rah-rah
cheerleading." The result is a strong, assertive case for low-key
management.
Dear Kate & Dale:
A few years back I was forced into early
retirement after being president of a chain of retail stores. Now I am
completely bored and want to work at an easy, junior-level job. (I can't work
at my old level because I've been out of the market so long, and the industry
has changed.) I assumed that companies would be eager to hire me since I'm a
bargain, but no takers. Now what?
-- Ed |
Dale: You've got a tricky
positioning problem, Ed. There aren't many employers looking to hire someone
whose main requirement is "an easy job." On the other hand, if you portray
yourself as hard-driving and ambitious, you might be seen as a threat to your
new managers. At the very least, your strategy raises the question, "Why is
THIS guy looking at THAT job? WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?"
Kate: Many job hunters assume that
if they apply for positions below their last one, the search will be easier.
But there is competition at that level, too. And competition with candidates
who may need less training for the specific tasks involved. So, Ed, you need to
reposition yourself at the lower-level, perhaps doing volunteer work at a
non-profit organization. That will end your boredom, and make for an easier
transition later.
Dale: Another approach would be for
Ed to use his contacts to help him create a position as an assistant to a
company president, perhaps handling a special project such as an acquisition.
It might end up being easier than finding easy work.
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